A) A list of the typical excuses for not being done on time:
My dog ate the report. Oh, you needed that this week? You're not the boss of me. Put it on the pile, I'll get to it whenever.
B) A list of promises to do better: It won't happen again. I'll get right on it. That was a special case, I assure you. It will be on your desk before you know it.
Molly : Do you have the report finished?
Gordon: I finished it yesterday, but my dog ate it.
Molly : Excuses, excuses. How about the weekly newsletter, is that done?
Gordon: Sorry to say a virus erased my hard drive.
Molly : You must be kidding? I am fed up with your poor work habits.
Gordon: I'll re-do it ASAP.
Molly : While you are re-doing that, I need another copy of the monthly numbers, this paper is blank.
Gordon: That's because the printer is on the blink. Some times it works, and sometimes it doesn't.
Molly : So many excuses. Are you slacking off in the office?
Gordon: Of course not.
Molly : How about the time I caught you sleeping?
Gordon: It won't happen again, I promise.
Molly : Well, get back to work.
Gordon: I'll get those reports on your desk ASAP.